I say, ‘I am fat.’
He says ‘No, you are beautiful.’
I wonder why I cannot be both.
He kisses me
My college theater professor once told me
that despite my talent,
I would never be cast as a romantic lead.
We do plays that involve singing animals
and children with the ability to fly,
but apparently no one
has enough willing suspension of disbelief
to go with anyone loving a fat girl.
I daydream regularly
about fucking my boyfriend vigorously on his front lawn.
On the mornings I do not feel pretty,
while he is still asleep,
I sit on the floor and check the pockets of his skinny jeans for motive,
for a punchline,
for other girls’ phone numbers.
When we hold hands in public,
I wonder if he notices the looks —
like he is handling a parade balloon on a crowded sidewalk;
if he notices that my hands are now made of rope.
Dear Cosmo: Fuck you.
I will not take sex tips from you
on how to please a man you think I do not deserve.
He tells me he loves me with the lights on.
I can cup his hip bone in my hand,
feel his ribs without pressing very hard at all.
He does not believe me when I tell him he is beautiful.
Sometimes I fear the day he does will be the day he leaves.
The cute hipster girl at the coffee shop
assumes we are just friends
and flirts over the counter.
I spend the next two weeks
mentally replacing myself with her
in all of our photographs.
When I admit this to him
we spend the evening taking new photos together.
He will not let me delete a single one of them.
The phrase “Big girls need love too” can die in a fire.
Fucking me does not require an asterisk.
Loving me is not a fetish.
Finding me beautiful is not a novelty.
I am not a fucking novelty.
I say, ‘I am fat.’
He says, ‘No. You are so much more’,
and kisses me
- takemeto-magnoliamountain likes this
- zhaniquejones reblogged this from creativewordspowerfulideas
- zhaniquejones likes this
- sierramayjans reblogged this from thatblondebiitchh
- thehornoftheunicorn reblogged this from alivinggdream
- thehornoftheunicorn likes this
- mandehleigh likes this
- mandehleigh reblogged this from natalybrown
- diogocrazy55 likes this
- believeitorleaveit likes this
- crisstophercolfen reblogged this from timeladyofpemberley
- dontcheckuponme likes this
- froid-ouvre likes this
- jimmyjamesmoriarty likes this
- greenpelikan likes this
- circachartreuse reblogged this from itsrebeccamarie
- desertedconstellations likes this
- desertedconstellations reblogged this from articunoh
- danihardin133 likes this
- danihardin133 reblogged this from creativewordspowerfulideas
- ups-and-downss reblogged this from significantmelancholy
- arc--reacted likes this
- macreselle reblogged this from kiarq
- dracoholmes reblogged this from smithandfriends
- macreselle likes this
- effervescentava reblogged this from glohhria
- healthyhachi likes this
- thedoctoristheking reblogged this from riley-poole27
- glass-of-sparkles reblogged this from lorvelyyy
- greenorbss reblogged this from larry2202
- sunignite likes this
- odetowendi reblogged this from sim1sharp3
- f0reveroung reblogged this from fuckinq
- c-ass-iopeia likes this
- kelslew likes this
- zainmilka likes this
- whore-with-a-c likes this
- ilikemypunkdecarbonated likes this
- perksofbeingabum reblogged this from littlekhi
- benedictcucumbersnatch reblogged this from glassesbunny
- benedictcucumbersnatch likes this
- blackbettyes likes this
- helloyesthisisvictoria reblogged this from eleanorflawless
- larry2202 reblogged this from twinkychristmas
- noseriouslythisisjo reblogged this from ambie-maddux
- ughhhlarryshippers reblogged this from xliams10inchx
- thatcynicalpoet likes this
- ambie-maddux reblogged this from christianmichaelvaughn
- wonder-fully-crazy reblogged this from manipulators
- sotheresthattodealwith likes this